Oh the joys of....

I was just remembering how I used to have to dress up for my work as a secretary. Oh how I love to be able to wear my blue jeans everywhere now, even for the contemporary church services that I enjoy so much! Though I do miss dressing up once in awhile...although once or twice a year is enough for me, and hopefully those two times would fall during the warmth of summer, so I could go "hoseless" with my sandals.

But oh how I don't miss wearing panty hose. Men had to invent them. No matter what size you end up buying, you have to stretch and pull to get them to fit in the right places. Then when you think you have them in the right spot, you start walking funny because the crotch is hanging almost to your knees. So you excuse yourself and go to the restroom to remedy this awkward situation. You stretch and pull them again, only this time you have them pulled clear up under your breasts, hoping that the crotch will stay in the right place. You leave the restroom and the more you walk the more the crotch area falls, eventually back to where it started, sagging almost to your knees. Then to make matters worse, since you have been tugging your panty hose so much, you eventually wear a hole in the big toe area. I would go to the restroom and put them on backwards. That way the hole would end up in a different spot, hopefully underneath the toes so it wouldn't show. You leave the restroom again, being so proud of yourself for fixing the situation, only to

realize that now instead of the hole showing in your open-toed shoes, you have a stretched-out area sticking up at the top of your feet where your heels were before you turned your hose around backwards. So back to the drawing board. You go back in the restroom and put the panty hose on again, only this time in the right direction, with the hole showing again in your open-toed sandals. Only this time you try Scotch tape on the hole, hoping that it will stay in place so your toe won't push through the hole again.

I always bought the "control type" variety of panty hose. I liked how they flattened my abdominal area, but then the fat would be squished up above the elastic wasteband, so you'd have this nice extra roll of fat below your breasts and above your waist line. Really an attractive sight.

Then after many times of becoming exasperated with panty hose, I tried the thigh-high hose variety with my dress clothes. This was a whole set of different problems. They would never end up in the right place either. They would eventually start falling down over my knee, so I just gave up on them too!