I'm sitting here contemplating if I really should have visited my mom today. She's being dismissed from the hospital this afternoon and I still don't know what's wrong with her. The last time I talked to the doctor a couple of days ago I demanded that I find out some answers...his actual comment was: "I'm still trying to find out what's going on with Mildred." Now mind you, what kind of response is that from a doctor? Now she's going to her "surrogate home" and we..."we" meaning my sisters and myself...don't know any more than what we did, other than she had a "little bit of pneumonia". None of the staff at the hospital have had her up and around with her walker, and she's going to have problems "transferring". This disturbs me to no end. One thing I do know is that she is being scheduled for some in-home physical therapy. I'm not feeling well today...I think it's from the effects of the beta-seron shot that I gave myself last night, but...I don't want to take any chances with my mom's health. So here I sit still in my pajamas feeling utterly and completely helpless...and lost. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and second-guesses. But this is how I've been feeling for several months. I just want the best for my mom...and I can't fix it.
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