My grace is sufficient for you.....

"But the truth is, all I have to offer to anyone else is a life surrendered to Christ so that His beauty and grace shine through my brokenness."~~Sheila Walsh

"I would not have survived.....without the promises of the Word of God."~~Sheila Walsh

The following is an excerpt from the book I just finished reading, "The Christmas Singing". I won't divulge what circumstances brought about this conversation between Mother and daughter, because I certainly don't want to ruin the storyline of this wonderful book:

"Oh, Mattie, sweetheart." Mamm's face crumpled, sadness and understanding shadowing her smile. She sat beside her. "If I could have spared you, my little sweet-sixteen girl, and your Daed from having to know about and cope with my illness I would have."

"What? No you wouldn't."

"Ya, I would've. And even though your brothers were married with homes of their own, I'd have spared them the heartache too if I'd known how. It may be the one dream shared by everyone struck with illness. If we could find a way; we'd keep our loved ones from shouldering the strain and hurt, from having their quality of life jerked away from them."

Before Christmas, I spent a good part of an afternoon at Barnes & Noble browsing through books, and looking for a good book for my dear friend Diane. While I was there, I bought myself a Christmas Caroling music book and a copy of a Chicken Soup for the Soul. Diane has one of those kindles and I could have easily purchased a downloaded copy of a book for her.....and it'd be on a little plastic card.....but I wanted a real book for her to hold in her hands. That's just the way I am about books! A little plastic card just seemed like a gift card to me, and I'm not a big fan of gift cards. So as I was casually browsing through the special Christmas section in the middle of one of the aisles, a book entitled The Christmas Singing piqued my interest. I opened the book and read the inside cover of the hardback copy, and it instantly warmed my heart. It was an obvious choice to give this book to her for Christmas, along with a nice Christian bookmark. She really enjoyed it and made the comment how the author just drew her in, and she couldn't put it down. That's a good author that can do that. She in turn thoughtfully loaned it to me to enjoy after she had read it. It's also certainly the gift that keeps on giving as it has truly touched my heart, and the reality of it also hit home with me.

Even though this is a fictional story, personally I feel the above quote taken from the book is true, since I have several illnesses that I have harbored guilt feelings about in the past and in the present. Illnesses that keep me from doing things I'd like to be able to do with my friends, family or sweet husband, whether it be traveling or at times visiting family, or doing household chores that always seems to be needing done. I feel guilt because I, just as Mamm said, "has jerked the quality of life away from them (loved ones)". I know that these are feelings of guilt are put on myself,  and that my loved ones truly don't feel that way towards me, but that doesn't make it any less difficult for me.

I've always been the kind of person that when I said I was going to do something, I'd do it, to the best of my ability. When I worked as a secretary for many years, I was always very conscientious. Now whenever I make plans, it's tentatively planned, depending on how I feel that given day. It's hard to find and keep friends when this continuously happens, and when I can't be counted on. People tire of being cancelled on all the time.

Since I have such a love for books, I considered volunteering at the library a couple years ago. Then I realized that this position would entail shelving books, some being shelved by standing on a stool; some lifting; and being on my feet a lot. Last year I wanted to apply for volunteer work at the hospital. I had thoughts of applying for the cancer area of The Children's Hospital. I was excited and even brought the application home to fill out. Much to my chagrin, even volunteer work requires a volunteer they can depend on, to be there on specific days or for a given amount of hours. I didn't want to let the hospital down, so I simply threw the application away.

The Christmas Singing did not present itself as being cheesy or having "a happily ever after" type ending. The plot has more of a sense of realism....no promises at what the future may hold....even though the moral of the story was, at least how I interpreted it, true love prevails. The realism and passion is why I felt it was a wonderful story.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."~~II Corinthians 12:9 NIV. I will then boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. God wants to be glorified, and some sickness is used by God to glorify Himself by healing the sickness. But sometimes He gets His glory another way. In chapter 12, Paul tells of a “thorn in the flesh” that hurts him. He has prayed for healing. Three times he has prayed for healing. Surely God would be glorified by healing him. But this time God wants to show another kind of power. Of course He can heal. But He can also work through a weak man. And that is His answer to Paul. God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."~~II Corinthians 12:9 NIV. So Paul decides to boast about his weaknesses, just so people will see Christ’s power working in him.

I don't consider what I wrote about as "boasting about my weaknesses", but I do know that I could not have made it as far as I have without God's guidance and grace. I give Him all the glory.